‘Christmas Anxiety’

©2006 Mike Competillo

(Spike & Butch enter together, then Buddy)


Spike:   Hey Butch! How' you holdin' out?

Butch:   It's gettin' rough, Spike, and you?

(Buddy enters unnoticed by the others)

Spike:   I think this year has been the worst!

Butch:   I know what you're sayin'.

Buddy:  Hi guys!

(Both):    Yo, Whoa! (etc.)

Butch:   Oh it's you Buddy.

Spike:   What are you tryin' to do, scare us half to death?

Buddy:  Wow you guys seem really uptight today about something. What's bothering you?

Butch:   Oh nothing.

Spike:   We're fine, Buddy.

Buddy:  Now you guys aren't being honest with me. I can tell something is very wrong here.

Butch:   Buddy, it's nothing.

Buddy:  You guys haven't done something you shouldn't have again, have you?

Spike:   No Buddy, it's nothing like that.

Buddy:  Ah ha! I was right. You are in trouble!

Spike:   But Buddy. We haven't done anything wrong.

Buddy:  Now boys, that's not the truth. I heard Spike say something about this being the worst year. Are you failing in school again?

Butch:   Buddy, we're just feeling a little....  impatient.

Buddy:  Is that all it is? Are you sure?

Spike:   That's it, Buddy. It's only a few hours away!

Buddy:  What is?

Spike:   Christmas!

Buddy:  Is that what's got you both so stirred up?

Both:     (deep breath)

Buddy:  Guys, I never knew you both felt so strongly about the birth of our Lord Jesus on that cold night in a manger. You don't have to wait 'til Christmas morning to celebrate His birth. (Spike and Butch look at each other and shake their heads) Why, people start well into the whole month of December. Haven't you heard all the Christmas songs they're playing on the radio?

(Pause - Butch and Spike looking down out of embarrassment)

Buddy:  What is it? (Pause) Something is wrong, isn't it? (Pause) C'mon now.

Both:  (mumbling) Toys...

Buddy:  What was that?

Both:    (louder) Toys!

Buddy:  Toys? What does that have to do with anything? Did you guys... no, you didn't take something that wasn't yours, did you?

Both:  NO!

Buddy:  Then what is it?

Spike:   Well, Buddy, the truth is we're more excited about getting new toys on Christmas than about... you know.

Buddy:  Ooh! You're both getting new toys?

Spike:   Well, it's kind of a tradition.

Butch:   Yeah.

Spike:   Ya see, people give gifts and kids usually look forward to getting new toys on Christmas.

Buddy:  I get it now. You guys can't wait to see what you're gonna get.

Both: (they let out another big breath of air)

Buddy:  I had no idea it was such a big thing for you.

Spike:   Are you kidding? We've been waiting all year long!

Butch:   Yeah, we can't take it. Maybe we should get more toys throughout the year.

Buddy:  I thought that family and friends give something on your birthday too, am I right?

Butch:   Well, yeah.

Buddy:  So tell me guys, is Christmas going to keep you boys from remembering what to do next week?

Spike:   Next week?

Butch: What's happening next week?

Spike:   You mean New Years?

Buddy:  No. Remember to bring in your barrels to help out the missionaries.

Both:    Oh yeah!

Buddy:  Take sometime this week to think of giving,   to help them out. Let's not let them feel forgotten, right?

Butch:   We'll remember, won't we Spike?

Spike:   Uh, yeah. We'll remember.

(Spike & Butch exit)

Buddy:  (to children) Will you remember? (Exits)


The End